My Duct Tape War

Just thought I'd give you an update on my running battle with my coworker. I still haven't decided on what to do inside the locker but when I came in and found the lock on my locker duct taped I decided to fire back a bit.

I didn't start out with the intention of making my creation phallic of nature -- it just turned out that way. The protruding blue digit is the middle finger on a latex glove and it was very intentional. I should have taken pictures in stages. Inside the duct tape is a locking canister for a power plug. It is bolted together with a locking nut. Inside of that is a multi hasp lock with six bolts of varying sizes all with locking nuts. Through that is his lock which has about twenty zip ties on it. The best part of this is he will need tools to get inside. His tools are in a roll around toolbox which is locked. And where does he keep his key? In his locker.

If he gets in within thirty minutes, I'll consider him to be the second coming of Houdini. And that's after he borrows tools.

A Call To Arms

Okay, this is my plea for help, and since a know for a fact that a good many witty and devious souls visit this blog I figured this would be a perfect place to acquire a devilish scheme.

I work with a fellow who insists on playing one practical joke after another on me. Now I consider myself a pretty fair practical joker. I've always subscribed tot he idea of getting ahead rather than even, but currently I am losing the war. This fellow has added tot he name pained on my work locker. It did read ERWIN for my last name and he added the letters NEV to spell out never win.

He has used black electrical tape to cover the stripe on my time card so that I stood at the clock like an idiot trying to swipe my card. He has left numerous witty notes that have gotten more laughs and reaction than anything I have done so far. I have however procured the combination to his locker and I'd love to leave him a little surprise in their, but it has to be good. Any suggestions?

By the way I offer up a picture to prove that normally I win these battles. Several years ago I was taking a lot of heat from Texas Longhorn fans here ate work. They added horns to my roll around tool box. Left a variety of newspaper articles where I would find them, and so forth. But when they shoe polished my car and tied orange streamers and balloons to it I decided to show them what I was made of. Here is what I accomplished with a lawn mower and eighteen cans of red spray paint.

The N stood about sixteen foot high and was thirteen or fourteen foot wide. Before I painted it I scalped his grass as low as it would go so that he couldn't simply mow it off. I did this in broad daylight and the neighbor came out about halfway in and asked what I was doing. When I said making a Christmas decoration he simply shrugged, said don't get any on my yard, and went back into his house.

The guy who own this house watered heavily and raked the ares for over a week until you couldn't see the N anymore. This was mid December. Come spring he had provided so much car to the one area that he had a huge green N that did not blend in with the rest of the yard until mid summer. I also told him if he messed with me again I was going to climb on his roof and dump five hundred pounds of feed corn down his chimney. No one has shoe polished me since.

That's what I need now. The equivalent of that BIG RED N. So what y'all got?