Guest blogger Cher

Cher's post is up on Tena's blog!

Cher's post on Tena's Blog Coming Soon!

You are invited to my blog for a special post written by our friend Cher. It will post tomorrow.

You probably know about Cher's contest to see who could write the best suck-up poem about her. I was the lucky winner! As my prize, I chose to have her as my guest blogger. (Sorry Phats.)

To know Cher is to love her. And don't we all?

70 Pound Challenge

I was lying in bed a few nights ago, trying to decompress from the stress of the day so I could go to sleep. Random, strange thoughts coming in and out of my head. And this was one. Flat rate USPS boxes. They have a 70 pound weight limit. Basically, they are a rather smallish box that for one flat rate, you can ship. Up to 70 pounds (domestically). So, I was thinking, WHAT could you ship that would weigh 70 pounds and still actually fit IN the flat rate mailer.

My challenge to you is to see who can come up with the highest weight possible that will still fit in the box. And note, the post office will not let you ship a box that is not closed in the regular, ol' correct way (ie. you can't tape the flaps together over a bulge of something that just doesn't quite fit but almost does with lots and lots of tape). Ha, I just noticed they say that.



• Flat Rate Boxes can be used for both domestic and international shipping:

• The inside dimensions for the two boxes available are 11" x 8.5" x 5.5" and 13.625" x 11.875" x 3.375". The two boxes are different shapes to accomodate a variety of contents.
• The contents of the flat rate box must be neatly contained inside the box with adhesive packaging tape.
• The box must close securely and retain its shape when taped with adhesive.
• The shape of the box may not be changed or enlarged to fit its contents.

Viva Elvis!

Happy Birthday, King!

Guess it's time for the once a year clean...

Well, at this point anyway, it's been once a year. (Once last year, after we moved in, and today.) This was my office, since about Thanksgiving:


And this is it now! -- There is room for my computer :)


After 3-18 gal. tubs and 16 boxes of books (not counting the other 4 tubs and about 6-8 boxes - I lost count - of other "things for the office") I finally have a place to work! Yippee!

Whoops! Naughty closet... good thing I left enough room to shut the door! OK -- guess I didn't get to everything I wanted to sort out (My books are so out of order, but I think they are at least happy to be back home on a bookshelf, or 13)

It may be a few days late, but I'm starting the new year with a clean office! (the closet doesn't count!)

Happy New Year!!!

Just popping in to wish everyone in the Amalgamation a wonderful, happy, and healthy 2008!

I can tell you that I am probably the ONLY person to keep my resolution each and every year! Here's my resolution: I resolve to NOT make a resolution!

See? Now, wasn't that easy?!?!


So....what's yours?


toothpastefordinner.com

More hilarious videos from India!

I found more hilarious videos from my motherland, and of course, I had to share them with my fellow amalgamites! I suppose that most of you know the song "Crank That (Soulja Boy)." Here's a parody of the song by a duo named Pari and Harvin. Their version is called "Crank Dat Curry Sauce!" I laughed like a maniac!! The second one is by another duo, MC Vikram & Ludakrishna, who sing the "Biodata song." For those who aren't familiar with biodata or shaadi.com, please do a google search. Agh I'm not disappointed in the talents of rising India:-) Have a Merry Christmas!!!

The Endangered Duck

So the one and only Duck started this here amalgamation and now is nowhere to be seen. Not at his normal blog and not here at his creation. Where or where could he be and what could he be doing that that is so important he couldn't show beak or feather here. A few of my theories.



The Duck is busy starting a new business.






He is busy entertaining the kids.





He is hiding from the law.




His long lost Siamese brother is in town.





A terrible accident has befallen him.





He is being held hostage.




I'm sure all of ya'll can come up with a few more theories. I say we keep posting until we shame him into showing his webbed little feet.

Don't look down!!

How trippy would this be? Could you even "go"?

Time to Get Your Groove On!

The Condom Teletubbies

My first contribution to this blog is an entertaining video to promote safe sex in India. It's quite hilarious to hear this in Telugu, which is my native language. I guess times are changing over there! My God I wouldn't even be able to talk about this topic with my relatives. Finally they resorted to creative solutions to curb the HIV/AIDS epidemic! Enjoy--it's kind of long!

For That Hard to Buy for Woman

I first heard of this new gadget over on the Criminal Brief blog.

Yep, it is exactly what it looks like. A new, personal experience for the woman who REALLY gets INTO her music. I'm sure it is merely a coincidence that the thing is priced at $69. By the way it is called the OhMiBod and like Leigh Lundin, the blogger I found out about this from I can't think of a better song to play with it than the Beach Boys Good Vibrations. So what other songs would you guys suggest?

Some Political Humor

Some political humor. This is from Monty Python and The Holy Grail. One of my favorites of all time.

Monty Python - Old Woman - click on link for short video from movie

Enjoy your turkey dinners!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Hi everyone. I just wanted to take some time out and wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving! I won't be getting to spend this holiday with my parents and siblings, but with my cousins. And my cousins have been like my second family since I was two years old (so really same difference). I promised the younger ones I may go swimming (and hopefully it won't be because I get pushed into the pool). However, I may have to take it back because my belly still wiggles like a bowl full of jelly. Why am I leaving you guys with that image? Not something very appetizing.

I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving dinner!

Hilarious!

Stop whatever you're doing, click this link, and listen to this. Oh my gosh it is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. This made my day.

http://www.chumfm.com/MorningShow/bits/march24.swf

Brings back memories

So, this past Saturday I went to the final home Purdue football game, and of course it's Senior Day and of course that brought back TONS of great memories from my own Senior Day. For those of you who don't know I was a four year member of the Purdue University Spirit Squad. It was quite frankly the best four years of my life, and I made lifelong friends in the process.

Just to take you through the day, it always start with a breakfast at someone's house and the underclassmen serving you. Kristen who is my girlfriend was an underclassman at that time, unfortunately we weren't dating then so I couldn't give her hell. After that you're given your first gift of a picture frame full of memories, it's basically a Purdue Cheerleading collage of pictures. I still have mine! After that you're led outside to see your limo waiting for you, yes they get us a stretch limo to take us around town and eventually to the game. The fun part is touring campus, we hit up breakfast club. For those of you who don't know Purdue has a tradition where the bars open super early on home game Saturdays and serve booze dirt cheap if you are dressed in costume. So, we went in and mingled and the girls led the fight song on top of the bar and we did some cheers, and got recognized it was great. Then it was time to head over for the game, and the warm up area is decorated for us and we receive more gifts it's like Christmas! Then it's time to take the field for the last time at Ross Ade Stadium.

Our Senior Day was awesome because of the excitement in Ross Ade, we were playing our arch rival Indiana for the Old Oaken Bucket, and if we could win we would be the Big Ten Champs and head to the Rose Bowl. I remember the day like it was yesterday, it was FREEZING, we had on warm ups plus our nice warm Purdue Jackets, and head warmers. I got goosebumps when we were recognized before the 4th quarter SHOUT. We routed IU big time behind Purdue legend, and current New Orleans Saint Drew Brees, and the crowd rushed the field. The best part was us seniors got to present the Old Oaken Bucket to Joe Tiller and Drew Brees full of Red Roses. It was so amazing, a day I will truly never forget.

I hope this hasn't bored you all too much! Just watching the Seniors get recognized before the 4th Quarter Shout got me all nostalgic. Thanks for humoring me :)

Boiler Up!
Phats
By the way this is a first I am in that picture up top. It's from homecoming where I participated in the Alumni Cheerleading, the question is which one am I? No telling Cher or Tena!

Fucking and Fricking

**** NOT MY OFFSPRING OR EVEN IN MY GENETIC LINE **********

Words are a very interesting and complex medium.

• Some words have multiple meanings. Blow, Shit, Weed
• Some words have a single meaning. Stethoscope, Listen
• Some words have been around for ages. Son, Man
• Some words have just been created. Shizzel, Krunk
• Some words are acceptable. Hello, Goodbye
• Some words are deemed "unacceptable". Jesus H Fucking Christ

It started several years ago. People started to say Frick instead of Fuck because you were not "supposed" to say Fuck as that word is inappropriate. But Frick, well that is not Fuck so it's OK.

So is it the meaning behind the words that matters or the spelling of the words?

Language is used to convey thoughts/meanings/ideas etc... It doesn't FUCKING matter how you spell the words, it is the meaning of the FUCKING words that matters.

Beware the Hedgehogs of Doom

Hello all! Sorry, it's been a while since I've popped my head up. But I'm still here!

My current travels/adventures throughout the British Isles are being related over at my usual blog, but I have conundrum I thought perhaps you all could help me with.

Now, I am not what you would call a huge fan of modern art. Usually I spend my time at modern art museums with raised eyebrows and a dubious expression, trying to avoid the hipsters and intelligentsia.

But a couple days ago I went to the Irish Museum of Modern Art in Dublin (I sort of accidentally walked past it and went, "why not?"). My full adventures therein can be found on my blog, but I want to share with you the strange sights that met me as I approached the entrance.

What is this? I thought, and paused to investigate further.

Can this be art? I thought (I occasionally get confused at modern art museums). But I looked high and low and nary a plaque with artist's name was to be found. There were definitely plaques at the other outdoor art pieces. Perhaps we are being warned against foxes. But then why the cat and the squirrel?

And there was this one, off to the right...

Caution: Hedgehogs. Maybe it's an Irish thing?

I stood there for a long time being confused. So perhaps you can help me, Gentle Readers: Are these signs...

a) Art. I was just too incompetent to find the plaque.

b) Warnings. I was lucky to have escaped the area with my life.

c) Neither. I have completely missed the purpose of these signs, which is _____.

Please help.

Guess It's Better Than Polka Dotted Penis

Would you eat this?

Yeah, me neither.

I spotted this fine product in a store called World Market which sales imported goods from all over the globe. They have everything from wine to bedding. But this one raised my brows and made me realize a few things.

1) No wonder the spotted owl is endangered. This harvesting program has to be brutal on their mating habits.

2) How many owl hootus's does it take to fill a can this size?

3)What is Heinz not selling enough ketchup these days?

Okay all fun aside the can says this is a sponge pudding with raisins and plums or something along that sort. Who knows, it might be good, but couldn't they have at least called it Spotted Richard?

So have any of you tried any spotted dick?

I'm not dead, I'm writing

Hi everybody,

I've been out of the loop for a long time, for which I apologize. Not only have I been traveling out of the country but I'm trying to finish my novel.

Not being a regular contributor, I've missed a lot of what's been happening here. I do keep in touch with several of you via email or by visiting your blogs, which I will continue to do. My problem is that I don't have enough time to cross-post to two blogs.

That said, I'll check in with you all here from time to time, and I hope you'll come over and visit me at my blog.

Wishing you all the best,
Tena