Trick or Treat or Church

Here in West Virginia, many cities have chosen to observe trick or treating on Tuesday, October 30th, which would technically be All Hallow's Eve Eve I guess. I haven't heard of this anywhere I've ever lived before, but the reason for this is because many churches in the area either have church activities, or actually have their services on Wednesdays.

I'm not a big fan of moving the trick or treating around, but then again I'm a heathen. I would think that even if I did go to church on Wednesdays that I wouldn't mind missing church one week out of the year to celebrate a national holiday. Independence Day was on a Wednesday this year too. They didn't reschedule the fireworks so people wouldn't have to miss Bible study. This whole "church on Wednesday" thing is new to me anyway. Who goes to church on Wednesdays? I thought Sunday was the day. The sabbath and all that.

Anyway, what do you think?

It was a happy homecoming for Phats

Well for those of you who don't know, or don't read my other blog, I am a diehard Purdue fan, a purdue graduate, and a former Purdue Cheerleader. So, homecoming is always a fun time for me, because it consists of getting to go back on the field and cheer again! This year our opponent was the Northwestern Wildcats, and I have to tell you just standing in the endzone waiting to run on with the team I was freaking pumped up, they let us old geezer alumni run the flags, and it still doesn't matter I still get goosebumps when I hear Hail Purdue.

As for the game itself it was crazy, we won 35-17 it wasn't that easy though we had to score 21 4th quarter points, and hold them to 4 total yards, and 0 first downs to win the thing. I have to admit that after the game I was a little sore, I tumbled thru the endzone after we scored a touchdown and threw my full twist which I haven't really done since college, and didn't warm it up. Gladly I landed it and didn't fall on my ass and embarrass myself.

After the game my girlfriend and I went to some cool halloween parties on campus, and continued to catch up with old friends and people we had cheered with(my gf cheered at purdue too). All in all a great homecoming weekend. Oh yeah, I got to see Neil Armstrong! He is a Purdue grad as well, and he led the fourth quarter shout, but before the game they honored him by naming a new engineering wing after him, pretty cool. Here is a picture of him leading SHOUT, he got a HUGE ovation, even the football teams were looking up in awe.

Drugs and Toxicity

The Toxicity of Recreational Drugs

"How then does one gauge the relative risks of different recreational drugs? One way is to consider the ratio of effective dose to lethal dose. For example, a normally healthy 70-kilogram (154-pound) adult can achieve a relaxed affability from approximately 33 grams of ethyl alcohol. This effective dose can come from two 12-ounce beers, two 5-ounce glasses of wine or two 1.5-ounce shots of 80-proof vodka. The median lethal dose for such an adult is approximately 330 grams, the quantity contained in about 20 shots of vodka. A person who consumes that much (10 times the median effective dose), taken within a few minutes on an empty stomach, risks a lethal reaction. And plenty of people have died this way."

"The most toxic recreational drugs, such as GHB (gamma-hydroxybutyrate) and heroin, have a lethal dose less than 10 times their typical effective dose. The largest cluster of substances has a lethal dose that is 10 to 20 times the effective dose: These include cocaine, MDMA (methylenedioxymethamphetamine, often called "ecstasy") and alcohol. A less toxic group of substances, requiring 20 to 80 times the effective dose to cause death, include Rohypnol (flunitrazepam or "roofies") and mescaline (peyote cactus). The least physiologically toxic substances, those requiring 100 to 1,000 times the effective dose to cause death, include psilocybin mushrooms and marijuana, when ingested. I've found no published cases in the English language that document deaths from smoked marijuana, so the actual lethal dose is a mystery. My surmise is that smoking marijuana is more risky than eating it but still safer than getting drunk.

Alcohol thus ranks at the dangerous end of the toxicity spectrum. So despite the fact that about 75 percent of all adults in the United States enjoy an occasional drink, it must be remembered that alcohol is quite toxic. Indeed, if alcohol were a newly formulated beverage, its high toxicity and addiction potential would surely prevent it from being marketed as a food or drug. "

So the least lethal drugs in our society are illegal while alcohol which is a highly lethal drug, is available on the shelves of your local liquor store. If drugs are illegal because they are a danger to society, then we have it ass backwards.
Doesn't make much sense does it?

Candidate Candor

Not sure how you all feel, but me personally, I'm terrified of this woman getting into office. Although, I don't know what's scarier, her being President, or the yahoo's who'll vote for her just b/c she's a woman and not because they truly believe in her!

Happy 30th To ME!

Yay!!!

Today is the day, I turn THIRTY!!!

The Universe

Now just sit back a minute and look at the universe and think about this, truly think about this. First, it may help to set the mindset for time and scale. Think about how BIG 100 MILLION dollars or 100 MILLION of any object for that matter, is. This entry will be referring to hundreds of BILLIONS and TRILLIONS.

It has taken a long approximately 5000 years to get from the first written language to today.

The universe is mind blowingly old and vast.

• *The universe began 13.7 BILLION years ago. (wilderdom.com)
• *About 25% of the universe consists of "dark matter", and about 70% consists of "dark energy", leaving only about 5% of the universe visible to us. (per sentex.net)
• *Earth's solar system was formed about 5 BILLION years ago. (per wilderdom.com )

The basic numbers are unfathomable.

• *The Sun is only one of the more than 200 billion stars in our Milky Way galaxy. (per factmonster.com)
• *The Milky Way Galaxy is one of 80 billion of galaxies in the universe. (factmonster.com)
• *A "light year" is a measure of distance, not time. It is approx. 6 trillion miles. (per sentex.net)
• *The distance between one arm of the Milky Way galaxy spiral and another is approx. 6,500 light-years. (per crystalinks.com)
• *If a beam of light were to be shot around the Milky Way, it would take almost 250,000 years to complete its journey. (per crystalinks.com)

The incredible speeds that everything is moving at are unreal. Think about the energy created by these masses moving this fast, and then colliding, unimaginable.

• *The Earth is rotating on its axis at a rate of 460 metres per second at the equator, and is orbiting the sun at a rate of about 30 kilometres per second.
• *The Sun is orbiting the center of the Milky Way at a rate of about 220 kilometres per second.
• *The Milky Way is moving at a speed of about 1000 kilometres per second towards a region of space 150 million light years away called the Great Attractor.

So basically, of ALL that exists in the universe: all the dark matter, galaxies, every single atom, we currently understand/know about what, 1% of it, thats being generous.

So KNOWING how much that we DO NOT know, how does any religion that claims to understand/explain etc... human origin stay alive ?

I miss Santa Claus.

That Can Cut Me

I was cut by a can as a child. The razor-sharp, metal top of a soup can, the kind you use a can opener to slice through. It actually cut deep enough to sever some nerves, leaving a nasty scar and a weird half-numb, tingling feeling in my pinky finger to this day, twenty-odd years later. It was my own fault, to be sure, I was probably using it as a Frisbee® or a shield for my GI Joe™ action figures, or something like that.

So I was wondering: why, in this age of litigation, has no one sued the makers of cans for not warning us they were sharp? I mean, at first we weren't warned that tobacco was addictive and harmful, that coffee could be hot enough to burn us, or that electricity and water don't mix. Then some people got hurt (OK, some got killed too), and some people sued. These warnings are ubiquitous now. Just have a look at any tobacco product, any cup designed to hold hot beverages, or the cord of any hair dryer. Surely if someone had sued a can manufacturer or a food company for not warning them, every can would sport such a cautionary statement. Why do cans get spared from people suing for their own stupidity?

It could have something to do with the fact that you need to be slightly smarter than the average animal, and more dextrous than the average three-year-old to operate a can opener. The barrier of entry is a little higher to create a dangerous object out of a can, except for maybe dropping it on your toe. But I thought, more likely, it's just an implicit acknowledgment by individuals of the fact that, hey, those things can cut you!

Then I noticed that a can with the little tab on it does have a warning: "CAUTION: SHARP EDGES" (yeah, I know, you can't see it but trust me, it's there). But so are the instructions for opening the can. I guess the other guys would blame the maker of the can opener, since it created the danger and not them. After all, apparently people used to open their cans with a hammer and chisel. That had to be a lot more dangerous.

My Duct Tape War

Just thought I'd give you an update on my running battle with my coworker. I still haven't decided on what to do inside the locker but when I came in and found the lock on my locker duct taped I decided to fire back a bit.

I didn't start out with the intention of making my creation phallic of nature -- it just turned out that way. The protruding blue digit is the middle finger on a latex glove and it was very intentional. I should have taken pictures in stages. Inside the duct tape is a locking canister for a power plug. It is bolted together with a locking nut. Inside of that is a multi hasp lock with six bolts of varying sizes all with locking nuts. Through that is his lock which has about twenty zip ties on it. The best part of this is he will need tools to get inside. His tools are in a roll around toolbox which is locked. And where does he keep his key? In his locker.

If he gets in within thirty minutes, I'll consider him to be the second coming of Houdini. And that's after he borrows tools.

Going to America

First off I'd like to say that it's only since moving to England that I find myself saying America and American. I'd been one of those people who said 'United States' in deference to the other Americas about- central, south, etc. But if you say 'United States' here it makes you look like kind of a twat. (US is okay however.)

Anyway, in less than a week I'll be flying back to the US for my first visit since I moved here 2 years ago. It will be interesting, but not too much so, as most of the people I'd have liked to see have all moved far away from Boise (NATE). Everything is mostly taken care of although there is too much last-minute work for me to possibly finish last-minute. I'm going to have a hard time not bringing work with me - especially as a few of the days I'm on holiday I HAVE set aside for work, just other kinds. (Some conference days, and making some contacts at BSU, which are what's paying for all the plane tickets hotel etc... hey free vacation for a couple days work? OK!)

Ever since last Friday I've been thinking pretty constantly about all the US food I've not had in 2 years or longer. It's not even food I necessarily want or even LIKE. It's just that I've realized that soon, they will be within my grasp, and I COULD have them if I wanted them.

Egg nog!
Beef jerky!
Hot pockets!
Pizza bagels!
Hamburger Helper!
Peanut Butter M&Ms!
Some Dude's Fry Sauce!
Frozen wontons from Winco!
Kraft box macaroni and cheese!
Paul's Market restaurant style salsa!

I don't even LIKE most of that stuff, but I keep THINKING about them. OK, the last two ARE things I like and will probably have when I'm back... although I'll feel a bit guilty about the mac and cheese. But the rest of that stuff, no way.

I'm definitely going to Mongolian BBQ though. Maybe twice.

Wow. Just... wow.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21271545/

Apparently it's christmas time in Indiana.

Alright so I get in my car to drive to work the other day, I am barely awake as it is at 6:00am and I turn on my favorite radio station and what do I hear, that's right Christmas Music. Yes, it's not even Halloween and they are playing Christmas music so I am thinking WTF, at first I thought it might be some joke the morning show is doing, it's called Marco and the Morning Mess. However, after about 10 more Christmas songs with no DJ breaks I figured it wasn't a joke. So, I get to school(I am a teacher) and I got on their homepage, and see the message Radio Now will no longer be heard on this station anymore, instead we bring you 93 days of Christmas Music. What the hell?! I don't want to hear Christmas music in October damn it.

So, apparently the scoop is the ad revenue wasn't good enough for emmis(the owners) and they are going be bringing talk radio to the station in January. Today though the good news was Radio Now was bought by Radio One and is changing frequency's, now I just hope the morning mess group will all come back! It was one of the few good radio stations around here, and the morning show is freaking hilarious. The morning show crew was on a cruise when all this went down and came back to not having job, can you imagine that?? SUCKY! So, as long as all my favorite DJ's are back I am not pissed off anymore.

If you want to see my predictions for all the bloggers favorite college football teams head over to my other blog, and BOILER UP BABY!!!
BTFU
Phats

WTFIWWM

Or, in words, what the fuck is wrong with me?

Anyhow, this is actually a contrite post about buying a car. I decided to post it because it describes the twisted path that is my mind.

Minivan shopping.

Mmmhm. Stupid right? Straight forward? Lost already? The spouse and I (new official designation) are thinking we may be buying a new vehicle. We have this bare bones Saturn Vue, which is okay, but with 2 kids, we are often wishing for more seating, or just further apart seating. And, our Saturn, well, it is loud. I mean LOUD. We keep asking, was it this loud when we bought it? What were we thinking? Headache inducing loud on the road. The solution of course is to turn up the stereo, but we have very few actual cd's floating around and 4 ipods. This leads us to a lack of axillary jack to play music in the car through the ipod, and the iTrip doesn't work so hot either.

We got into our heads that we really NEED a minivan. But the truth is, we don't really need it. We just want it. I have been researching minivans for months and finally got it down to the Honda or the Toyota. Well, I wouldn't say finally, that part was pretty easy. Then, I decided we needed a Toyota because that seems to be the quieter ride and the interior is nicer (though, I prefer the looks of the Honda but honestly, how often do we really look at the outside of our vehicles?).

I have spent months researching and learning the train wreck that is Toyota's version of options. First you have to decide what "trim level" you want, CE, LE, LE 8 passenger, XLE, or XLE Limited. And then, you navigate the waters of options and "package only" options and trim level only options to the point that.... you want to puke. Then, to really top it off, Toyota makes certain packages and options only available in certain states not others, and as we are looking at 3 or 4 states as possible places of purchase, it gets even more muddy.

Then of course, there is the money factor. Now, those who know me, not even well, just vaguely know me, know I HATE spending money. My best friend often comments that "I am so tight my farts squeak" which while exceedingly eloquent, is perhaps an oversimplification. I am not cheap, I am frugal. I don't mind spending money when I feel I am getting good VALUE for my buck (or my husband's buck as I haven't contributed financially to this marriage in quite some time now). This then leads to an obsessive, disgusting quest to find the most value.

Last weekend, we went and tried out some options. We listened to the regular audio which sounded fine until we listened to the upgraded audio. Then the regular audio sounded like a Sony Walkman tossed into a trash can... quiet and tinny. Okay, well to get the good ol' upgraded audio that we now NEED to drown out the 32nd round of "are we there yet" we then have to either get a PACKAGE or, go up a trim level. Both add significant more dollars to the price. Then, we see the navigation system with the very fancy touch screen controls and BACK UP CAMERA. Hmmm.... nice. We decide, we NEED this as we are in a pattern of moving about the country with my husband's job. Well, of course, to get the navigation, you have to UPGRADE.

Somehow, we are ending up with a fully loaded XLE limited as our choice, which seems... silly. And this is taking us into the $35 THOUSAND dollar range, which now has me thinking, well what other cars can we get for $35 grand?

And thus, the search continues... someday, we may even manage to get a new car.

The Next Rocketstar Generation

What am I doing? What is my better half doing? What kind of human beings are we growing?

• One that questions everything.
• One that is a skeptic at heart.
• One that is so obsessed by the imperfections of the world that they will miss the beauty.
• One that doesn't not follow the sheep blindly.
• One that will encounter tough times for her analytical thinking.
• One that will loathe those in government for thier coniving motives.
• One that understands what REAL character is.
• One that needs to escape from this experiment we call life far too often.
• One that doesn't hate people, but seems to feel better when they are not around.
• One that sees that big picture and isn't blurred from the minutia.
• One that sees this life as an insignificant skid mark on the universes' underwear.

Is my insanity going to slowly and ever so deeply infect my future genetic material?

Of course it is, unfortunately.

A Call To Arms

Okay, this is my plea for help, and since a know for a fact that a good many witty and devious souls visit this blog I figured this would be a perfect place to acquire a devilish scheme.

I work with a fellow who insists on playing one practical joke after another on me. Now I consider myself a pretty fair practical joker. I've always subscribed tot he idea of getting ahead rather than even, but currently I am losing the war. This fellow has added tot he name pained on my work locker. It did read ERWIN for my last name and he added the letters NEV to spell out never win.

He has used black electrical tape to cover the stripe on my time card so that I stood at the clock like an idiot trying to swipe my card. He has left numerous witty notes that have gotten more laughs and reaction than anything I have done so far. I have however procured the combination to his locker and I'd love to leave him a little surprise in their, but it has to be good. Any suggestions?

By the way I offer up a picture to prove that normally I win these battles. Several years ago I was taking a lot of heat from Texas Longhorn fans here ate work. They added horns to my roll around tool box. Left a variety of newspaper articles where I would find them, and so forth. But when they shoe polished my car and tied orange streamers and balloons to it I decided to show them what I was made of. Here is what I accomplished with a lawn mower and eighteen cans of red spray paint.

The N stood about sixteen foot high and was thirteen or fourteen foot wide. Before I painted it I scalped his grass as low as it would go so that he couldn't simply mow it off. I did this in broad daylight and the neighbor came out about halfway in and asked what I was doing. When I said making a Christmas decoration he simply shrugged, said don't get any on my yard, and went back into his house.

The guy who own this house watered heavily and raked the ares for over a week until you couldn't see the N anymore. This was mid December. Come spring he had provided so much car to the one area that he had a huge green N that did not blend in with the rest of the yard until mid summer. I also told him if he messed with me again I was going to climb on his roof and dump five hundred pounds of feed corn down his chimney. No one has shoe polished me since.

That's what I need now. The equivalent of that BIG RED N. So what y'all got?

Not that I need any more confusion in my life...

As Jason "JD" Dean would say: Greetings and Salutations !
I usually hang out over on LifeonDelaware It's really neat seeing the collection of coolness that is this blog.

Now here is a pic I snapped with the celly -- had to blow it up a bit, that's why it's so grainy, but what do you think it says?

I found it in a local restaurant parking space, in front of the sign advertising pumpkin pancakes of all things. I pull into the spot, well, because there was a parking berm there, and it looked like a space. Also, I thought it was next to my dad's car, which turned out to not be my dad Who's that guy sitting in Dad's car?

As I exit my car, I see the above sign painted on the asphalt with 2 arrows framing the letters. I was a bit puzzled... perhaps they were planning on resurfacing the parking lot...but, with...toner? I had no idea! So as my mother and I are trying to figure out what the heck this is saying we are getting strange looks from the guy next to us, who is not in my dad's car.

My grandfather walked up to us in the lot, took one look down and said, "not one."

Duh! Go figure - the English teacher gets hung up on the smooched together capitals and can't make out a sign! We got a good laugh out of that one.

And so did the guy who was not in my dad's car.

Something Actually FUNNY from SNL!

Ingrid Michaelson

Have you seen the new Old Navy commercial? You know the one with, "If you are chilly... Here take my sweater..." Do you love the song? Well my wife and I do, so we looked up who performed that little ditty. Turns out her name is Ingrid Michaelson, and she's an up and coming little cutie pie who's currently on tour with Matt Nathanson, who's another of my personal faves. Awesome.

If you have no idea what I'm talking about, that's perfectly fine, because I'm here to drop some knowledge on ya. Click on the play button and enjoy. A feast for the eyes and the ears to be sure.