Friday, October 5, 2007

A Call To Arms

Okay, this is my plea for help, and since a know for a fact that a good many witty and devious souls visit this blog I figured this would be a perfect place to acquire a devilish scheme.


I work with a fellow who insists on playing one practical joke after another on me. Now I consider myself a pretty fair practical joker. I've always subscribed tot he idea of getting ahead rather than even, but currently I am losing the war. This fellow has added tot he name pained on my work locker. It did read ERWIN for my last name and he added the letters NEV to spell out never win.


He has used black electrical tape to cover the stripe on my time card so that I stood at the clock like an idiot trying to swipe my card. He has left numerous witty notes that have gotten more laughs and reaction than anything I have done so far. I have however procured the combination to his locker and I'd love to leave him a little surprise in their, but it has to be good. Any suggestions?


By the way I offer up a picture to prove that normally I win these battles. Several years ago I was taking a lot of heat from Texas Longhorn fans here ate work. They added horns to my roll around tool box. Left a variety of newspaper articles where I would find them, and so forth. But when they shoe polished my car and tied orange streamers and balloons to it I decided to show them what I was made of. Here is what I accomplished with a lawn mower and eighteen cans of red spray paint.


The N stood about sixteen foot high and was thirteen or fourteen foot wide. Before I painted it I scalped his grass as low as it would go so that he couldn't simply mow it off. I did this in broad daylight and the neighbor came out about halfway in and asked what I was doing. When I said making a Christmas decoration he simply shrugged, said don't get any on my yard, and went back into his house.
The guy who own this house watered heavily and raked the ares for over a week until you couldn't see the N anymore. This was mid December. Come spring he had provided so much car to the one area that he had a huge green N that did not blend in with the rest of the yard until mid summer. I also told him if he messed with me again I was going to climb on his roof and dump five hundred pounds of feed corn down his chimney. No one has shoe polished me since.
That's what I need now. The equivalent of that BIG RED N. So what y'all got?

22 comments:

angel, jr. said...

Sorry, I wish I had something, but I don't. I'm not very good at practical jokes.

Mr. Shife said...

I guess it depends on how cruel you want to be. Some details about the co-worker's might help like his name or favorite team. I don't know Travis I think you could do a lot of stuff but I just need more details.

Rocketstar said...

well, I don't know if I can top that. But a good p[ice of Limburger cheese taped to the bottom of his chair, or "hidden" somehow in his locker may help.

cher said...

ok, seriously. i'm not just saying this, but yet again, i agree with mr.shife. i too need more details. even just a few. muha hahaha

cher said...

ohya, and hey, if you choose mr.shife's and my ideas again and combine them, do we win anything? maybe a cd just for us? like just dripping with AirSupply n stuff?

Travis Erwin said...

Okay more details.

The guys name is very comon adn nothing to be doen there. The problem with stinking up his locker is that is sits next to mine.

I did once stash an open can of sardines up under a guys seat for him to find weeks later when the smell began to make him gag.

What I have already done. Removed the bolts holding the wheels to his roll around tool box. He made it halfway to his work station when the thing came apart. I superglued all of his wrenches to his box. poured the water out of his water bottle and replaced it with vinegar. Unfortunately he only took a small sip since he smelled it about the time he put it to his lips. I greased the back of his combo lock. he washed his hand and then found the handle had grease behind it. He ashed again, then found more grese on each of his toolbox drawers.

I have spent months slowly workign through his combo lock until I finally have the combo.

I have though about filling it with packing peanuts, or tumbleweeds or something but I want this last locker defacing to send a powerful message. I am hopeful this will be the final volley but I need something great and my ideas just are not measuring up.

Oh and the locker is full of tech manuals taht he needs for his job so I do not want to do anything with liquid that would ruin those -- But I could take the contents out for safe keeping and replace them with a suprise.

I Think I've Gone Mad said...

do you have access to his car? we used to do something we called odotting... save up all the little dots of paper from a 3 hole punch and dump them into the vents into his car turn up the blower on the heater or air conditioning and when he starts his car VOILA he is ODOTTED... it's a real pain the ass to clean up a couple thousand of those little buggers...

Design Goddess said...

Back in high school, my friend filled a guy's locker with shaving cream to pay him back for a practical joke. Might be something to think about....unless you don't want it to be that messy. Otherwise, something spring loaded that would pop out at him when he opened his locker would be funny.

Those are my suggestions for now. I'll let you know of any others I think of!

preTzel said...

Vaseline (Oh, and those manuals? Ziplock baggies. They will protect them from any liquids. :o) ) will be a nice touch on the handle of the locker before he starts to spin it for the combo. On the inside of it I'd spray it down with a nice "old lady" perfume. Then I'd leave it. Just don't do anything for about a week or so. Let him think nothing was going on. Then the next week get some catfish or fox lure and put a little bit under a piece of paper (thin) that is the exact same color as the bottom of his locker and tape it with Magic scotch tape. Poke tiny holes in it so the smell can escape. Then do nothing. Let the scent do the rest. I do recommend the fox lure scent as it is much more, shall we say pungent, as the catfish lure is. Then don't do anything again for about a month for so. Let that rest. After that add another "scent" to his locker...something like maybe an egg you've let get "warm" for awhile. Poke a teeny - tiny hole in the end of it and then set it under something heavy that he might put something heavier on top of in the bottom of the locker. (Again, remember the ziplocks.) On this one? I highly recommending running like hell if you're in the vicinity when that baby breaks.

If all else fails? Employ a skunk.

Amanda said...

Man, I'm glad I don't know any practical jokers. That all seems more malicious to me than funny. I guess I can't take a joke. :)

Ello said...

Fill his locker with tampons and maxi pads. Don't know a guy in the world that doesn't find it conceptually gross. I'd take the tampons out of their wrappers so that the applicator and the little strings are all sticking out.

cher said...

lmao at ello's suggetion!
i'm still thinking...

Merry Jelinek said...

This one might fall under sexual harrassment - and would depend on whether or not the fellow was homophobic...

But generally this would annoy the hell out of a guy. If you have photoshop and can come across any pictures of this guy, use the program to place him in drag.. you know, ballet outfits, ball gowns, pig tails if you can find them... Then do the whole inside of his locker in contact paper like the kids use in high school - I say hot pink with purple leopard print dots should do it. Post up the pictures everywhere, make sure to use a really strong glue, and finish the fix up with some girly trim, like a boa or something equally fourteen year old chic.

I'd add a ton of perfume scented perfume for the finishing touch.

cher said...

laughing at "perfume scented perfume"!!! ah hahah..hahah..

cher said...

disgusted/ssed this with my in laws... i'll get back to you when i wake up.

Merry Jelinek said...

Ooops, I blush, that was supposed to be 'perfume scented confetti' - it was late, I was tired and silly, and as my seven year old says, 'My bad'.

preTzel said...

Ello ---

Might as well add some "color" to those tampons. :o)

Travis Erwin said...

Y'all are in interseting bunch of people. And I'm really enjoying all of these suggestions.

cher said...

man, that tampon thing really is pretty funny.

Skiingred said...

Flour.... try putting flour on the car, or in the locker. Ever try to wash flour off a pan or plate? You get dough balls. Imagine what that would do on the scale of a car!

Not sure about the shaving cream on the car, might take off some of the color, but it might work in the locker.

During finals week in college, we would prank our roommates by rearranging all of the furniture in the apartment - well in one gal's room anyway (Desks upside down on the bed - the kitchen table on the patio - computer in the spare bathroom, etc.)

There is also something with newspaper, that if you tape enough of it inside a door jamb to make a seal, it's very hard to open the door from the other side, but I can't remember the physics behind that one, but it works.

Ohhh just remembered: saran wrap on the crapper
that one was popular at camp.

Popping off the keys of his laptop/keyboard and then create your own alphabet style when you replace them!

Phats said...

I have been trying to think of some kind of prank to help you out here, I even thought about it all weekend, and I just can't think of anything. I was never good at these things. I do put out an inflatable Purdue Pete, and my friend who is a Michigan fan one time when we played them put a GO BLUE sign in Pete's hand ha.

Design Goddess said...

Could you rope off his car or cubicle or workstation (whatever is his space) with police tape?! You know, the kind that says "POLICE LINE. DO NOT CROSS!"

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